Jeff Lantern meets Lost Voice Guy

Published April 9, 2012 by jefflantern

I had a nice night at Rib Ticklers comedy night last in Hartlepool and also finally had the opportunity to watch Lee Ridley aka Lost Voice Guy, one of the most exciting and original acts I’ve seen for years!

Being a maverick, I immediately took him to a nearby car park and used the full beam on my car headlights to take this photograph with him.

I’m looking forwards to sharing the stage with him soon.

More details about Lee here

http://lostvoiceguy.com/

I am going to London now to explode live truth, I will insert hyperlinks on my return.

 

David Trent ‘What I really do’ Meme

Published April 8, 2012 by jefflantern

Recently, maverick comedian David Trent logged onto Facebook and wrote;

‘I thought I’d come on here and cheer myself up with some of those photos of what my mum thinks I do, what my dad thinks I do, what my boss thinks I do, what my friends think I do, what my colleagues think I do, what I actually do, but now find myself bereft. RIP WHAT MY MUM THINKS I DO, WHAT MY DAD THINKS I DO, WHAT MY BOSS THINKS I DO, WHAT MY FRIENDS THINK I DO, WHAT MY COLLEAGUES THINK I DO, WHAT I ACTUALLY DO. You made me happy when the sky was grey.’

This inspired my agent Alistair Greaves to make this version of popular meme, specifically for David;

Which David then enjoyed, writing ‘Thank you Alistair. This really was a wonderful surprise as it was one of those photos of what my mum thinks I do, what my dad thinks I do, what my boss thinks I do, what my friends think I do, what my colleagues think I do, what I actually… do, but it was about the best man in the world, me, so it made me happy because it a photo of what my mum thinks I do, what my dad thinks I do, what my boss thinks I do, what my friends think I do, what my colleagues think I do, what I actually do, but it was also about me, David Trent, so that was great.’

At which point Mark Restuccia showed up writing ‘Hi guys. What’s going on here then?’

Unsure if Mark was familiar with the concept of ‘Memetics’, Alistair wrote this reply;

Do you know what a Meme is Mark Restuccia?

It’s a concept pioneered by Susan Greenfield (I think) and is basically a cultural equivalent of a ‘Gene’. For example, obviously Humans have needed our brains, which is why are Brai…n Genes have survived and replicated to the point where we now comprehend our location within the Universe to an atomic level, but none of us know why. However we don’t have tails any more as we didn’t need tails so the tail Gene died instead of replicating. Which is why we now have ‘Appendixes’ instead. Sometimes these appendixes can become inflamed and very painful and taken out. But thats not so bad as my understanding is that those who have their appendixes removed get Ice Cream afterwards.

Now I think about it I may have got appendixes mixed up with Teeth, with is another example of a Gene which has survived. Although ironically we don’t need our teeth to eat Ice Cream and if from now on, all our species ever ate was Ice Cream then we would probably evolve further without the need for Teeth as the Teeth Gene was no longer successful.

I hope this clarifies matters.

Please note Mark Restuccia is also available for Voice-Over work, and dating.

Daniel Kitsons Shaved Head

Published April 8, 2012 by jefflantern

Firstly let me say that I am a huge fan of Daniel Kitson (who has recently shaved his head) who is perhaps the funniest man to walk the Earth right now, along with Tony Law. So when I heard he had adopted a new look by shaving off his his long hair and beard, naturally I had to investigate.

Now Kitson has a reputation  within the industry for his insistence to take complete ownership of all aspects of his career including all his PA and Marketing, With the result that without paying anybody else for any PA, or Marketing he remains the hottest comedy property in town (Although not quite so hot since he has now shaved his head, unless maybe he wore a hat)

But he is also caught in the same bind Bill Hicks spoke about, as by discouraging photographers and suppressing images of his newly shaven head, he is ultimately generating more publicity in what he looks like with his newly shaven head. Which could inspire other comedians who try to attract the same demographic (but also equally hate concepts like demographics) to try to cash in in that interest by writing blog posts about Daniel Kitson that feature the words Daniel Kitsons Shaved Head in a cynical attempt to direct internet traffic to their own site. (did I mention I also have a stall? Only one True Fist Lion Egg Cup left! )

As ever, Daniels new show sounds awesome, if you would like to see it and live in Australia tickets can be got from Here

This is the Chortle review which alerted me to Daniel Kitsons shaved head.

And finally this is the Blog that inspired me to write a blog post about Daniel Kitsons shaved head. And yes, it does contain (appropriately not very clear) pictures of Daniel with his recently shorn top and bottom half of his face.

Thankyou to all who own the sites I am linking to, I am a new blogger and I don’t know what the ettiquette is regarding acknowledging you.

Jeffs new book, which challenges the Stigma and the Stigmata which surrounds the Easter Myth and Mental Health.

Published April 6, 2012 by jefflantern

Have you been sectioned under the mental health act for claiming to speak with ‘the voice of God?’

Introducing Jeffs new book which he wrote when he was a bit ill (mentally) which deals with how to convince mental health professionals that you are not the new messiah, so that they then free you to continue to spread your teachings, but just in a way that doesn’t worry people as much as last time.

This book also deals with the profound realization that (according to the ancient Hindu philosophy of Advaita Vedanta) all that exists is only Brahman.

The vast amount of multiplicity seen in the world of human beings, the diverse kinds of individuals who identify themselves with different names, families, castes and races, indeed the entire universe, from the largest stars to the smallest atom – all this is indeed nothing but Brahman.

It is only ignorance of this astonishingly simple, yet complex truth that leads to misery. The individual Atman is also ultimately not different from Brahman, and realization of this important doctrine is Moksha. However if acheiving the state of Moksha isn’t dealt with sympathetically, it can lead to confusion and ‘mental illness’ when individuals realise that not only are they are a part of god but possibly more.

As ever, Alan Watts elaborates on all this more eloquently than me, Jeff Lantern.

Also, this video elaborates on how having a a manic episode can be considered analagous to the breakdown of ego and lead to spiritual awakening. Like what Jesus was crucified for.

 

Please note information re: Advaita Vedanta has been taken from here.

http://www.angelfire.com/in/satchitananda/

Jeff Lantern appointed official UK campaign officer for Coyne/Drozd 2012: We’ve got the power now!

Published March 24, 2012 by jefflantern


Wayne Coyne and Steven Drozd are going to be the next President and Vice President of the United States of America in 2012!  
(if they get enough votes)


And Jeff Lantern has just been appointed the official UK campaign officer for Coyne/Drozd 2012!

Wayne Coyne loves animals, Steven Drozd is kind to children, and together they front the world’s finest neo-psychedelia rock band, The Flaming Lips.  They are the kind of people we need in the White House helping make America fucking cool again. (Also pictured above are future Secretary of State: Kliph Scurlock, and future NASA Director: Michael Ivins)

Wayne Coyne is pro Pot, and against EvilRobots. Taking stands on today’s most important issues, Wayne Coyne is a new kind of candidate.  He isn’t afraid to call his supporters “Motherfuckers”, and doesn’t shy away from nudity, strobe lights, or smoke machines. He says what he’ll do, then he does it.  From Gummy Skulls with USB drives implanted in them to building a full scale UFO.  It’s time for us to elect an honest, hard working, real man of the people, who isn’t afraid to give out 10,000 laser pointers to an audience. They’re just humans with wives and children.

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aka: The infamous WC photo bombing incident of 08…

Show your support!

If you want to help Jeff Lantern get Wayne Coyne and Steven Drozd elected in 2012, please continue on to the Stickers & T-shirts page and order several for you, friends, and family members.  All profits from the sale of Coyne/ Drozd 2012 stickers go to help two good causes: The Central Oklahoma Humane Society and Planned Parenthood. and will hopefully be available soon from Jeff Stall!!!

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Measures 3 inches by 4.5 inches (non edible)

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Stickers & T-Shirts

This post is endorsed by the website.
Coyne Drozd 2012: We’ve got the power now


Disclaimer: The website http://www.coynedrozd2012.com is not affiliated with Wayne Coyne, Steven Drozd,or The Flaming Lips
No cats were harmed in the design of this site or the stickers. 

Happy Mothers Day!

Published March 18, 2012 by jefflantern

Why not celebrate Mothers Day with a range of items from Jeffs Stall, including free Mothers Day Card, Mug (that raises awareness about Mental Health) and a range of maternal scents..

What Mother wouldn’t want to wake up to this selection of items and think

‘Yes, it’s on days like today, I’m glad I’ve brought that into the world!’

FREE DOWNLOAD!
Happy Mothers Day

(Please delete Son/Daughter as appropriate)

Jeffs new book for media professionals

Published March 17, 2012 by jefflantern

Many conspiracy theorists believe that various pop extravaganzas, such as Madonnas recent performance at the Superbowl are actually Satanic ceremonies conducted by the shadowy ruling elite who secretly rule us from the shadows.

Whilst this isn’t entirely implausable, there is another possibilty that most fashion designers tend to be very busy people with very demanding clients, working to very tight deadlines. Consequently, many busy designers may not have the time to investigate arcane witchcraft literature to ensure any symbols or logos they may design arn’t misinterpreted. My new book above is specifically designed for the busy fashion designer ‘on the go’ just to ensure there are no ambiguities in future extravagant productions.

And also if the same images keep recurring (Pyramids, All seeing eyes, Nick Clegg, etc.) Then what more evidence do we need to prove that everybody who works in the media is a blood drinking, shape shifting,  Satan worshipping reptillion!

(Other than observing anybody in the media performing any of those actions with our own eyes..)

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